Perhaps the single most spectacular event ever to occur in history is the end of the world; not because of its sheer apocalyptic magnitude but, rather, because it’s happened so many times. The year 1000 C.E. is probably the first notable time the world ended, since the hysteria reached such a level that people refused to pay for any contracts lasting beyond the end of 999.

Such ridiculousness is by no means restricted to ages long gone. According to the prophecies of Nostradamus, 1999 was going to be a cataclysmic year. Also, 2000 was, of course, going to be the end of the world for many people but when it still kept going the Earth was given an extra decade in which to perish. Then there was the all-pervading fear of nuclear oblivion all throughout the Cold War period. And that’s not even starting on all the religious cults who’ve predicted the world’s end. The Jehovah’s Witnesses along have, in under 300 years, predicted the world would end on no fewer than 17 specific dates. They have since given up on ascribing a particular time to the apocalypse and have instead stated that the world will end some time in the future.

I think we can all learn a lesson from these cults. The big mistake Nostradamus made was trying to be too specific. He probably thought that, given he’d be long dead by that time, it didn’t really matter what happened, except it makes him appear pretty foolish. Instead, he should’ve taken a page out of the Witnesses’ (or Witlesses’, if you feel so inclined to describe them) book and simply said that the world would end on some unnameable date (after all, if he really was a prophet, he should’ve seen that coming).

It seems the best way to ensure that one’s end-of-the-world predictions are accurate, though, is to follow in the footsteps of the Children of God. They appointed a specific time when they thought the apocalypse would occur then, rather than waiting around to see what happened, wiped themselves out. For them, it really was the end of the world - and who’s going to be able to tell them otherwise? So, if you’re fed up with all these false predictions and want to see the world end when you say it should, the solution is simple. Of course, you might like to include your friends and family when the time comes, otherwise they’ll all be shaking their heads in disappointment when you’re gone.